Merium Bernice Bates
Merium Bernice Bates (Murphy) of Amenia and Poughkeepsie, New York, entered into the care of our Lord on Tuesday, July 21, 2026 at the age of 89. She was in the care and keeping of her devoted and loving husband and daughters at the time of her passing.
She was born Merium Bernice Murphy on October 31, 1936 in Sharon, Connecticut to the late James Murphy and Bernice Murphy (Benson).
One of 6 children, she was preceded in death by her brothers James (“Sam”), Richard, and Paul, and sister Ella. She is survived by her most beloved friend and sister, Theresa Farrell.
Merium grew up a devout Catholic on her family’s farm in Amenia, New York, a place she loved dearly. She attended Amenia High School where she was the President of her Junior Class, treasurer of the Girls’ Athletic Association, editor of her school magazine, and yearbook, as well as participating in field hockey and basketball.
After graduating valedictorian in 1954, she considered nurse-teaching before ultimately beginning training at St. Francis School of Nursing, fulfilling her childhood ambition to become a nurse. She would later work in the hospital’s clinic and with the Red Feather agency, The Visiting Nurses Association, until leaving to start her family. With a truly Christlike heart, Merium befriended many and brought the light of God’s love to all who knew her.
Merium's Graduation Portrait, 1954
A feature in the Poughkeepsie Journal featuring Merium, far right, 1956
Nursing school portrait
Merium met Carlton Phillip Bates at a carnival in her hometown and they were married on her birthday: October 31, 1959.
Shortly after, they purchased their family home on Dutchess Turnpike, where they lived for over 65 years. In addition to their Poughkeepsie home, Carlton and Merium kept a winter home for many years in Fort Meyers, Florida, where Merium would enjoy socializing, playing bingo, riding her bike, connecting with her friends, quilting and crafting, doing yoga, water aerobics, and golfing with her husband and friends.
For the 66 years of their marriage, Carlton remained her constant companion and steady partner. She precedes her husband in death, but remains forever in his heart.
A devout parishioner of Saint Stanislaus Kostka Catholic Church in Pleasant Valley, Merium spent many years volunteering within the congregation and working alongside many Carmelite nuns and sisters of faith. As a CCD teacher and Eucharistic minister, she helped to bring God’s word to many in their homes and at a local nursing home, Lutheran Care Center. In addition to volunteering at local hospitals, she also organized and participated in blood pressure clinics at various senior living centers in the Poughkeepsie area.
While she lived her faith through acts of love and service, Merium’s greatest earthly love and joy was her family. Carlton and Merium welcomed 4 children: Diane Clow (Steven, deceased), Carlton “Carty” Bates (Jennifer), Darlene Bates, and Denise Bates. In addition to 8 grandchildren: Raquel (Gregg), Chelsea (Mitchel), Casee (Jonathan), Dominick, Benjamin (Abby), Carter (Lydia), Alaina (Matthew), and Jake, Carlton and Merium were also blessed with 7 great-grandchildren and 1 great-great-grandchild.
Merium’s family was the great joy of her life and her love will resonate profoundly through all she left behind. In addition to her immediate family, she is joyfully remembered by her many nieces and nephews.
A true and delightful daughter of God, Merium carried a brightness and warmth throughout her life that became her legacy. By creating, perhaps unknowingly, small moments of comfort and familiarity for her family, Merium in many ways gave the gift of herself to everyone around her. These small moments, she taught us, are the true hallmarks of a happy life. And as her family commends her to the mercy of our most loving and awesome God, they express gratitude for the many gifts of Merium’s life that touched their own.
Collectively, Merium’s family extends their heartfelt gratitude to her daughter Darlene, who spent many years devoted to caregiving for Merium. Darlene supported Merium through many health challenges and stages of life, spending overnight hospital stays sleeping in chairs beside her mother’s bed and maintaining a constant presence to calm Merium’s anxieties.
The family requests prayers of comfort for all whose lives she touched, and for all whose days will be filled with the awareness of missing her until we are reunited with her in God’s grace.
A viewing will be held at the Immaculate Conception Church in Amenia on Monday, July 27 at 10:30am, followed by a Mass of Christian Burial at 11:30am. The church is located at 4 Lavelle Road, Amenia, NY 12501. In lieu of flowers, the family asks that donations be made in Merium’s name to the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation.
Services
Monday, July 27, 2026
Viewing: 10:30am
Funeral Mass: 11:30am
Immaculate Conception Church
4 Lavelle Rd
Amenia, NY 12501
Merium Murphy Selected Student of Week
Originally published in Amenia's local paper, 1954
One of six children, 17-year-old Merium Murphy loves her life on the farm and hopes never to leave it, nevertheless, she has set a high goal for herself. Merium was chosen this week by the faculty members of Amenia High school as the “Student of the Week.”
Daughter of Mr. and Mrs. James F. Murphy, Armenia, Merium is the second youngest of six children. Her younger sister, Theresa, is a sophomore at Amenia High school.
Merium’s career goal is to become a nurse-teacher. This field consists of the position of a teacher in a school where hygiene and health subjects are taught beside other teaching duties. Merium explained that she isn’t sure as yet in which type of school she hopes to teach, whether it will be high school or an elementary school, but noted that she enjoys dealing with elementary school children.
Merium explained that in order to become a nurse-teacher she must attend a college for four years plus studying, for all four summers, special courses. At the completion of the course she will have earned a bachelor of science degree.
Her first choice is Plattsburg State Teachers college, Plattsburg, but she is also considering New Paltz State Teachers college. Last Saturday she took a selective examination to see if she would qualify for admittance at the New Paltz school.
Of scholarships Merium said: “The teachers here at Amenia High school want me to try for a scholarship or two. I haven’t decided whether I will or not. I do hope I can do to Plattsburg however, whether with the aid of a scholarship or not.”
Merium added she first became interested in nurse-teaching through a college representative who visited the school recently and [has had] help getting information about the field from the teachers at the school.
Until a short time ago, Merium had definite plans to become a registered nurse - her ambition since she was a child. She said that if she doesn’t find a place that she likes in the nurse-teacher profession she may become a nurse as she originally had planned. Her first choice of a school for a nursing career is St. Francis’ School of Nursing.
Despite her high hopes for her nurse-teaching career, Merium has no yearning to leave the farm in Amenia. “Our farm is a large one as they average here in Dutchess county,” said Merium, “it has always been my home and I love it there.” Of New York City and other cities she said, “They’re too confusing. I much prefer the farm.”
Merium likes to travel, especially through the farm lands. “I enjoy seeing other farms, perhaps subconsciously comparing them with our farm in Amenia. I like to see lands neatly kept and well laid out. It seems nice.” She noted that all of her three brothers are learning to be farmers in their own rights.
Merium is interested in girls sports and last year served as the treasurer of the Girls’ Athletic association at the Amenia school. She is an active participant in field hockey and basketball and also sells tickets to all the school’s varsity basketball games, this being her second year in that capacity.
She has been the editor of the school magazine, the “Green Lantern,” a semi-annual, and this year plans to work on the school’s 1954 yearbook, the “Saga” when the staff is formulated.
Merium was vice president of her junior class and was chosen Queen of the Junior prom last year. She also served as chairman of a committee in charge of the prom and as general manager of a magazine campaign recently completed by the senior class.
One of her outstanding accomplishments is that the first day she attended a meeting of the school’s Student council she was elected president, a rare accomplishment since the president is generally a member of the council of long-standing.
During her off hours, Merium works as a telephone operator at the Amenia branch of the New York Telephone Co., a job which she got during the summer and has continued even though she returned to school. She mentioned however, that the job, which she is keeping despite the fact that this year she is carrying five subjects, takes a lot of time now that she normally would be devoting to extra-curricular activities.
Merium has majored in science and language during her four years at the school and enjoys the study of physics as a hobby. In her free time she likes to watch major league baseball and enjoy popular music. She also enjoys operas if she has read the plot prior to the presentation.
Active in school, holding down a complicated job and yet setting even a higher goal for the future is this week’s “Student of the Week,” farm girl Merium Murphy.
